Post #5 – Resolution in relationships

A good friend sent this to me today and it resonated with me.

Resolution in relationships doesn’t always look a certain way. Sometimes it is soft and kind. Sometimes it is a river of love. Sometimes it is choppy and erratic. Sometimes accepting the impossibility of the connection is the resolution. And sometimes the resolution is accepting that it was perfect, despite its difficulties and challenges, because it carries us to the shores of our own empowerment. I think about my relationship with my Mother. She was a difficult person, but she gave me great gifts, somehow… balancing the just right tension between worthy adversary and protective mother. For many years, I bought into the idea that we had to find our way to peace, that our ultimate resolution had to be soft and tender. But why is that? Perhaps the connection was exactly as it was meant to be, in order to bring me through to this awareness, this form of expression, this balance of vigilance and tenderness. Perhaps she gave me the exact gift she came to bring, and that is the resolution right there. Perhaps…    ~ Jeff Brown


I continue to roll these words over and over in my mind. I assume, and I think to some extent we all assume that “resolution” means that there is now peace where there was conflict and tension.

The “Perhaps…” that Jeff Brown leaves us with, is really intriguing.

Perhaps some things are broken and cannot be fixed. Sometimes there is beauty and perfection in the broken thing. The salvation is to find and appreciate the beauty in what that thing becomes. Why can’t resolution be rough and imperfect? And still be perfect.

Perhaps on one’s path, the things that prepare us to find enlightenment and peace when dealing with something flawed and difficult are themselves flawed and difficult by design.

In some odd way – that makes sense to me.